ABOUT ME

My Story

My path of discovering yoga started in 2008. I was working as a stewardess on a luxury yacht on the French Coast. I have been fortunate to spend a lot of time in different countries, travel a lot, and get to know people from everywhere. Yeah, I know, working on a yacht, visiting all these beautiful places, sailing, good income...what a great life you could say. However, something was missing. Please, don't get me wrong by saying this. I was in my early 30-ies, so many questions, but no answers. Questions that have always been here, haunting me.

At that time i thought i was going to live in France; it felt right at that time. I speak French and English, so there was no problem in communicating with people. And I thought I would eventually find a job on land because I was already getting tired of this job and this way of living. Travelling and working most of the time. Not anchored in a certain place, not in myself.

But things went into another direction. It just wasn't fulfilling and didn't feel right. Questions started to come to surface again, questions I had for so long, but got hidden somewhere underneath... Who am I? Why I came here? What do I want in life? Does life have a meaning? Why life has to be such a struggle? Isn't there an easier way? What am I missing? Why am I not happy and satisfied? I knew there was something more.

So, the season in the Mediterranean started, and we had our boss coming on board. That day I was in service – which means setting up the table, serving our guests with food and drink. Everything was fine that day, I set up the table and was waiting for the guests to come and serve dinner. I went to the pantry, and just started to cry. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't even know why I was crying. My friend asked me: What's wrong? Are you ok? I replied: What the f... am I doing here, I don't belong here. I just want to pack my bags and go.

But go where??? Do what??? I was thinking... I felt something wasn't right. I just wasn't happy, I wasn't living life I wanted, It wasn't me. Everything lost it's meaning. It wasn't only question about my job. It was everything, my life... I felt such emptyness, such numbness, such sadness, mixing all together...I can't find words that can describe how I felt. That day I just couldn't finish serving the dinner, so my friend replaced me, and I went to do the cabins and the laundry. Slowly I calmed down.

As season went on, one day my friend invited me to do some yoga with her while we had some days off. So i tried it, and i liked it a lot, but didn't have much time during the season to do it again. I also read my first book on yoga, and became curious. After the season has finished I was reading all sorts of books on yoga, spirituality, self developpment. The „thurst“ for that „something“ was huge. I couldn't stop reading. One day my friend literally put a book in my hands and said: Read it, you're gonna like it. I said: But I am reading 3 books already!!! She said: Read it. So I took the book, and started reading it. I finished it in a week. It was Dr. David Frawley's book Ayurveda and the Mind. I don't even need to say how much I liked it. I lit up like a Christmas tree. After finishing the book I said: This is it, this is what I want to do. I enrolled into Ayurvedic massage course, followed by different massage technique courses. I started to attend hatha yoga classes in my native town and kept on swallowing books.

Although I was learning new things, and was happy with this thought on my future carrer, there was still something missing. This was just one part of my life, what I wanted to do. But I wasn't at peace with myself yet. So I kept searching, googling, asking myself questions... I found another yoga studio where they were teaching Vinyasa/Ashtanga classes. So I started to attend those classes. Classes were interesting, and the teacher was great. I also practiced some other techniques apart from yoga, but kept coming back to yoga all the time.

Still I had this immense „Thirst for knowledge“. As I was searching the internet, I found out about Kundalini yoga. It seemed so interesting, so I started reading about it, and oredered a dozen of Kundalini yoga DVD's. The moment I started to practice it was: This is it. This is what I was looking for. The feeling after I finished the practice was apsolutely fantastic. I was practising several times per week, also continued attending Vinyasa/Ashtanga classes. I felt happy, uplifted, content. So many breathing exercises, different kriyas and meditations. I fell in love with Kundalini yoga.

Soon I started to search for a teacher training in Europe, cause there was no Kundalini yoga in my city. Funny, I couldn't find any info on Teacher Training in Europe.??? Then I thought why? It can't be. But the info simply didn't reach me. Sadness is what I felt. But I kept on searching and practicing. Finally in 2014. I found teacher training in Slovenia, it was Karta Singh's Amrit Nam Sarovar school. I enrolled the course in Slovenia and couldn't wait for the day it started. Why I didn't get the info on the teacher training earlier? I realized I was not ready for this.

And so it started. This was the best thing I ever did. The process of this initiation and transformation was cathartic and liberating at the same time. During this time I became so much lighter and more and more in tune with myself, with my own essence. Like 1000 kg heavy burden fell of my back. I started to see things in a different way. Slowly I became calmer, centered, feeling of emptyness was gone, my sleep improved immensly (I was suffering from insomnia for many years). I started living more in present, not thinking about past and future so much. My mind became clearer, the sense of gratitude started to grow, my thoughts became much more positive. Feeling of happyness, calmness started to be more and more present. I gained so many insights and I am still in this transformational process and still learning.

As I went deeper into Kundalini Yoga, I found what was missing is being connected to my true self, being more „me“, awareness, self-love and self-confidence. When I look back, it is amazing to see the lessons I've learned, and there is still a lot to learn of course. And I'm totally ok with all that. I am enjoying the process. Being disciplined and keeping up with the practice are the keys. It is not easy, but it is definetly worth it.

As Yogi Bhajan said: „Keep up and you will be kept up.“

If you would like to know more about how Kundalini Yoga can help you to reconnect more to your true self, have more energy and vitality, be happier, subscribe to my newsletter for latest news and offers, and download my free e-book on pranayama (breathing exercises).